An Ordinary Day

Ann, Karey, Lisa and I wondered around the Royal Mile and Princes Street and, once again, used the only smoke-free zone for 25 sq. miles, Starbucks, as a meeting place. Ann and Karey went shopping because their luggage is lost and Lisa and I went to the Hog's Head for a pint. The horrible exchange rate prevented the two girls from buying too much, but there was a pair of boots purchased from a Princes street store. Lisa and I had some quality time catching up on the last six months our lives and what it was like living abroad. She decided she wants to sell her house and move here next summer. Nah, she's not dramatic or anything! We'll see...

Whilst on our way to a haunted tour, the four of us decided that carrying bags and taking a tour didn't sound like too much fun, we went to the Tron to enjoy some meat flavored crisps and have a pint. We spotted some 'Ikea' and had another...

At about half six, I left the girls to join Tim at our friends, Richard and Cath, at their place in Dumblaney for a little "Happy Christmas" cheer. We had a fab time enjoying great food and good company. Richard always has great wine. Catching up with Henry and Ann was a highlight of the evening. We are excited for the next program to start so we can see Henry every day again! A few rounds of Men vs Women in "Who wants to be a Millionaire" demonstrated that the both sexes equally intelligent and able to beat the other team but not able to win the £1,000,000. Collectively, we did climb up to the £250,000 mark!

Lisa, Karey and Ann conversed at the Tron for a while before making back to Dalkeith. Ann and Karey went back to the house, Lisa made her way to Coach & Horses, met some locals, and waited for Tim and I to join her. The 4 of us loaded a taxi from Dumblaney to Dalkeith, and Tim and I met up to find Lisa with all kinds of attention from some locals, including a drink being bought by one cute boy! A good night for everyone.

Yesterday was a long week

That pretty much describes the first day with the girls! Working on very little sleep and countless second winds, we caught up with the girls and exchanged travel stories and laughed about how much we love losing luggage and eating airplane food, not because it is good, but because it is there. Lisa shared a story about getting smacked on the plane by the guy behind her on the flight over (don't worry, Ann played interference and prevented Lisa from hitting back!) and having the flight attendant play babysitter with the rude gentleman.

We toured the house with the girls. It was and IS bloody cold in this place. Colder than usual. I found out that the heaters are all off, due to some timer wiring situation, and Scottish Energy will be out sometime today to fix it. They enjoyed seeing the place, enjoying the 'faded elegance' of Dutchess Anne's glory. They are staying in 106, and looking forward to hearing the faint noises of babies' crying, as they are situated next to the haunted nursery.

After letting the girls shower off the grime and filth of 4,300 miles of travel, we headed up to the Is bar to grab some lunch an a pint. Okay, make that 5 pints. Now, of all the pubs on High Street, the Is bar is probably the last place we want to be getting tanked and being loud. (Wha! Us! Loud?) I knew it was time to leave when I'm at the bar, ordering, and Lisa shouts, "I have have more PESOS! Let's get another drink!" Okay Stevie K, that rivals the 'Tea & Crumpets' comment at Benvenido's in Alnwick earlier this month. We headed down to Sam's, closer to the house, and a little more friendly to drunks.

We had 2 or 3 pints there, played some music--well, some of us did. On Lisa's run of the jukebox, what she thought was a music box ended up being a gambling machine, but not before slugging £2.00 into it!! So, we played the silly games and lost. Bowling and a snowball fight on touch screens are difficult, don't waste your money.

Knowing that we needed to get back to the house soon, we decided to get some pizza; naturally, we ended up in Coach & Horses to have "just one more". Tim decided to show the girls our favourite pub while I got the pizzas. Well, Lisa came with me, and I persuaded her to join the others and I'd be there soon. "Just take the first right turn". Damn, I meant SECOND! So, as I walk into the Coach, I see Tim, Karey and Ann, but no Lisa. Shit. It's dark, it's getting late (although in the scheme of things, only 8:00pm; sun sets at 330pm really make for a long evening!) and I have 3 drunkies and 3 pizzas to mind. I set the 3 pizzas with the 3 drunkies and tell them I'll meet them back at the house and looked for Lisa. I found her, back at the Is bar. We had our final pub pint and made our way back to the house, however, we found no people and no pizzas, at first. Then we discovered that they were sitting in the dining hall with John(Santa, to the girls, who all took turns on his lap) Mary, Jim & Susie and Rick, their guest, enjoying the fire. Too much Jack Daniels, 3 cigarettes and a Carling later, I left the fray for bed. I heard that the others stayed up for a few more hours before making their way to room 106, or our couch, for the scared one.

Today: Edinburgh, the city. I'm going to give the girls the lay of the land, so to speak, and introduce them to the Royal Mile and Princes Street. I'm sure we wont' have any fun. ;)

Parable of the Blind Men & the Elephant

Got this little story from a friend and it it definately something that I want to remember and pass on, so I had to put it on here. It pretty much sums up my thoughts on the matter of religion quite succintly and great insight. Thanks Jamie.

American poet John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887) based the following poem on a fable which was told in India many years ago.
It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind
The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!”
The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, “Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!”
The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a snake!”
The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he;
“ ‘Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!”
The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!”
The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”
And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!
Moral:
So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

I'm not bitter... I'll tell you why I'm bitter!!!

I'm not sure if it was the 24 hours of being in transit with little or no sleep or being broken down on the A1, 50 miles from our destination and 50 miles from home, on a typical cold British Christmas Day, or (for the SECOND time this month) awaiting the arrival of 3 friends who never got off the plane this morning) that I enjoyed the most over the past 3 days.

After 10 wondeful days in the US, Tim and I made our way to the Minneapolis Airport and started our 4,300 mile trek home. We arrived at O'Hare and discovered that our flight had been cancelled, due to mechanical errors. Another BMI flight would have put us into Edinburgh about 8 hours later than we would've like, so they set us up on BA airlines. This, of course, meant changing our ticket over, at the BMI desk, and then going to the BA desk for boardinng passes, and passing through the O'Hare Airport security again. (Don't worry, it's gotta be like the largest airport in the world, so, as you can imagine, there were hardly any people there on the penultimate day for Christmas travel. ;)

We had an additional wait, but the BA flight took us into London Heathrow, which went pretty good. There was of course, a layover here for several hours. We were greeted, about 10 minutes before our flight's departure, with an intercom annoucement that Flight # 1*H£ , heading for KASLDFESD, will SELKOODAFD LASDK SEDLKIFDJ WOIER. Yeah, if you can make that out, please let me know, because the woman speaking must have had a towel in her mouth when she delivered the message. Even the local Brits hadn't a clue. After clumsily asking around, we found our bus which would eventually taxi us out to the plane. We arrived in Edinburgh 24 hours after our ordeal began.

We cancelled our xmas eve plans due to our exhaustion and called it a night by renting Shrek II and promptly falling asleep 15 minutes into it. (watched it the next day, good movie! Jennifer Saunders stole the show.)

Happy Christmas as the Brits say. The day for our car trip south 90 miles to the beautiful city of Alnwick (pronounced Annick--Aln is celtic for "bright river" and wick translates to village.) We leave with enough time to catch up and visit before our hosts served dinner, but, just north of Berwick, our little Fiesta decides she's TOO hot to drive any further. We pull over in a lay by and open up the bonnet to see steam and hoses with steam coming out of them. Good fun! There was an exchange with some four letter words which I'll spare you, but you can imagine. We call our hosts and they graciously offer their assistance in picking us up. We left the little green Fiesta to the safety of strangers and passers by on the A1 until further notice.

We arrived a bit late to dinner, but the food was amazing of course. Roasted vegetables, mashed potatoes, turkey, roasted potatoes, cranberries, wild rice stuffing (to make the Minnesotan's feel at home) brussel sprouts, apple sauce and Christmas bread pudding for dessert! Oh, of course, lots of great red wine. Thank you Archibalds for an absolutely brilliant time!

Boxing Day brought us to visiting a few people and sending our holiday greetings. We ended up in Preston Main with good friends and more drink to watch the days horse races. Of course we were betting--but dont' worry, mine didn't win. I'm not bitter, yet.

So, I am aware that Ann, Lisa and Karey are flying into Edinburgh at 8:30am, and with a stranded car, I needed to make some alternative travel plans. We call the TravelLine, and one operator says National Express doesn't serve the Alnwick area, and another quoted a 5:05am departure from the bus station. Now, I should've taken this as a BIG clue of, "Hello Idiot, do you really think this is for real?" But no, being the optimist that I am, I went to bed earlier than my counterparts and got up good and early, at 4:00am on Monday. Well, I had a cup of coffee, sufferred through the devasting news of the earthquake off the island of Sumatra, counted my blessings, and head out the Castle doors to the station. I waited from 4:45 to 5:30am, nothing. No busses. I saw exactly 7 cars and one girl doing the walk of shame, but no bus. Cold, headache sitting in, I headed back to the barbican where the castle guard was nice enough to let me back in (with out the our friend, Wade, the director, to sign me in) This would be THEE Harry Potter Castle. Again, I need to count my blessings that I have these experiences at least.
After waking Tim and exploring useless bus and rail web sites for busses and cotemplating £120 cab fares to Edinburgh, we woke Wade and he brought us to Dalkeith.
I have since called the airport to page the girls and have them call our mobile phone since we can't meet them at exactly 8:30am. Turns out, there flight was a half an hour early, and so I thought, okay, they should call any minute. Well, that was one trip to the airport, 4 cigarettes and 8 hours ago, and still no word. I think they missed a connecting flight through Newark, but, of course neither the airports nor airlines can say. Can't say, Can't say... (Little Britain reference)

So, as of 4:30pm, they are still not here. Liz at the airport has been great to help me and page them ever so often. So, for the time being, its a pot of coffee and another cigarette.

It's going to be a good week, but beware travellers, I think the haunted palace we live in has cursed our travelling ways.

Surprise!

Being surprised for my 30th birthday party (over a month EARLY!!!) was fantastic! I want to thank Chris, Randy & Cam, Tammy, Stevie K, Amy, Melissa C, Candi, Kim, Jamie & Jenny, Jennifer & Josh, Melissa S, Stacey, Kate & Tim, Lisa, Ann, Jennifer & Bill, Stephanie, Nikki & Troy, Maura, Kris, Girl Cori, Tracey & Drew and my Tim for making it such a great party and a big surprise. Like I said a million times that night, I am the dumbest f*cker alive! I had no idea. THANK YOU ALL for the good times, great memories and gifts (even the 'teacher' gifts).

The trip back to MN went fine. It was a long flight, but that is to be expected. We were greeted to a very loud and very Minnesotan flight attendant. After only four months abroad, I noticed the big difference in volume control of people's voices.

It was extremely cold, considering the climate in Scotland, but, something we all know too well in Minnesota. See everyone's faces this past week has been truly a gift. I am blessed to know so many great people. The biggest hurdle has been our bouncebackability (actually a word, who knew?) from the jet lag. I heard that it takes one day per time zone crossed to adjust. It's been 6 days, so, we should be adjusted now. And, we fly back in 3 days, having to re-adjust again, joy. But, it is worth it.

I was impressed to see how very different my old school felt, but how much remained the same. I miss teaching and the camraderie, but I don't miss the weekly meetings and the constant buzz of having to run all the time from function to function. My pace has slowed down greatly, which will probably save me from a heart attack at the age of 40.

Holidays at dad's and with the Tim's parents were wonderful. I miss watching the kids grow up on more of a daily basis, but I'll be "home" for good in due time. The big christmas at the Hodel's was another surge of good energy. How crazy and large the family is getting!

Good to be "home". It will be good to go home too.

Looking forward to 2005--should be a big year with lots of changes--both personal and professional.

If homosexuality is a disease, can I call into work 'gay'?

Okay, I may have stole that, but don't ask me from where, because I have no idea. But I love it. It is an interesting connundrum. I am guessing the answer is no. Damn conservatives don't want us to marry, raise children or call into work gay. How does that go, damned if you do, blah blah blah.

There's been quite of bit of press in the Blade about gay couples though. The world's views are progressing, even if some parts of America are not. As my brother would say, "Gooooooooo Gays!" I miss that little shit. He's one of the most kind hearted and tolerant human beings that I know. I wish I could be more like him. I'm like the older, fatter and more bitter version of him. Wish you all the best D, hope all is well and that you are free soon to live life the way you want to.

It is that damn time of the year again. I've got this huge holiday chip on my shoulder. I am not "well" during this time of the year. Perhaps it is my secular views of the world, call me an athiest or an agnostic or whatever, but I tell ya, I am a little disappointed that many folks who seem to be like me, on the surface anyway, pretend to be someone else during the holidays. That someone else is usually a god-fearing, midnight-mass attending zealot. I struggle with reconciling religion and "celebrating" life during this time of the year.

Perhaps it is because I am so hypersensitive, like this puppy, that my emotions get the best of me. Family that you haven't seen for a while come back into your life and quickly exit again.

Perhaps it is because I know that I won't see some of that family again (mom, grandpa, grandma) and that is what is stressing me.

Perhaps it is the expectation that everything in the world and life is good and there are only hundreds of reasons to celebrate, and all the reasons not to celebrate are given permission to be ignored. Perhaps I need to stop "worrying" about so many sad or regrettable events of the world that I have little to no influence over.

Perhaps it is the morose feelings that winter brings. Season of cold, death, desolate. I really like the sun, and there isn't much of it during the winter (especially NOW in Scotland!)

Perhaps it is a combination of all of these, and my ego needs to genuflect to the power of my psyche and move on.

I do consider myself a very optimistic person and yet sometimes this time of the year really gets the better of me. However, I frequently rely on humour and the company of good friends to help it all pass. This little "seasonal" site from a funny blogger helped me a bit. Enjoy.

Hoping to take Action

"A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction."
- Rita Mae Brown

I submitted my application today for the University of Edinburgh. I am excited to start working on the International and European Politics degree. And, I recognize that if for whatever reason I don't get accepted, I will pursue other options. I guess I really enjoy drinking beer. Seriously, a chance to study at a prestigous university like this one would be great. I am hungry for the challenge of a rigours research program in a area I just can't get enough of: political science. Perhaps it will land me a new career! Although I do thoroughly enjoy teaching high school and miss it dearly.

It's cold in the palace today. It's cold in here everyday. More visitors left this morning. Edinburgh was just a midpoint for their London trip before they had back to Wisconsin. Tim's friend Eric is here today to visit. He arrived at 10am this morning and is away tomorrow morning--No time for jet lag, just a whole lotta jet.

Monday will be the first trip back to Minnesota since I moved to Scotland. It will be an absolute thrill to see the homeland and friends and family again, but I am sure that I will be ready to come "home" when the time comes.

Only let the Smart ones in... Good idea.

More reports are coming out decry how poorly American students are doing on tests in the areas of math and economic applications, and Rod Paige's great insight says "It's more evidence that high standards and accountability for results are a good idea for all schools at all grade levels." Okay, yes, knowing how high or low we score in reference to benchmarks is a good idea, but, what about the meaningful financial, structural, federal, state, local, and parental support that is needed to accomplish this goal? Just say you have to score 90% on an exam (high standard) and then reporting it in the newspaper when a school scores 80% (accountability) [as has been the case with these two buzzwords] is not enough. The further one is from the classroom the less one know's about the real problems and solutions.

One could start with student funding formulas, or aligning curriculum with the tests and "standards" kids are tested again, or, perhaps they could start with looking at how students learn other than a multiple choice test, but now I'm ranting.

And then, the article points out more assinine ideas about immigration:

"The study also comes amid heated debate over whether the US has enough skilled workers for the high-tech industry. At the urging of US business groups, Congress expanded the number of H1-B visas - designed to let US companies hire technology-proficient workers from other countries - by some 20,000 in 2005. The measure is included in a spending bill heading to President Bush this week."

Okay, so, just let the smart ones in? Most of the xenophobes who say close the doors to "foreigners" voted to put in this Congress who will restrict the laws to keep people out, EXCEPT when they benefit us? Hmm, poor people being killed for being different, you stay in your country. Rich, well to do and probably not fairly so poorly in your country, leave it and come to ours. This phenomenon is known as the "Brain drain" and drains the Have-not countries of their skilled workers, many of whom possess the skills to help their countries prosper and get "rich (& selfish)" like the U.S.

God, we just give and give and give, don't we.

Learning a little bit about yourself

Or not. This might just reaffirm what you've always known about yourself! I recieved an email from Brad about a web site on personality types and such and it was SPOT ON about me. Check it out if you'd like.

The Idealists called Teachers are abstract in their thought and speech, cooperative in their style of achieving goals, and directive and extraverted in their interpersonal relations. Learning in the young has to be beckoned forth, teased out from its hiding place, or, as suggested by the word "education," it has to be "educed." by an individual with educative capabilities. Such a one is the eNFj, thus rightly called the educative mentor or Teacher for short. The Teacher is especially capable of educing or calling forth those inner potentials each learner possesses. Even as children the Teachers may attract a gathering of other children ready to follow their lead in play or work. And they lead without seeming to do so.
Teachers expect the very best of those around them, and this expectation, usually expressed as enthusiastic encouragement, motivates action in others and the desire to live up to their expectations. Teachers have the charming characteristic of taking for granted that their expectations will be met, their implicit commands obeyed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has extraordinary charisma.
The Teachers are found in no more than 2 or 3 percent of the population. They like to have things settled and arranged. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements ahead of time and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments. At the same time, Teachers are very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data with little pre-planning. An experienced Teacher group leader can dream up, effortlessly, and almost endlessly, activities for groups to engage in, and stimulating roles for members of the group to play. In some Teachers, inspired by the responsiveness of their students or followers, this can amount to genius which other types find hard to emulate. Such ability to preside without planning reminds us somewhat of an Provider, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than as a leader of groups. Providers are natural hosts and hostesses, making sure that each guest is well looked after at social gatherings, or that the right things are expressed on traditional occasions, such as weddings, funerals, graduations, and the like. In much the same way, Teachers value harmonious human relations about all else, can handle people with charm and concern, and are usually popular wherever they are. But Teachers are not so much social as educational leaders, interested primarily in the personal growth and development of others, and less in attending to their social needs.

Little Britain

Just getting ready to go out with the boys...Randy, Cam and Stevie K.

A week of fun in Scotland is coming to a close. After some maddening delays in Amsterdam, they made it. We've laughed (CC Bloom's) and laughed (gay pub crawl) and laughed (castle sex) through out the entire trip. We learned that 'Sally' is on fire whilst on holiday.
Nancy offended some of the locals and slept with a few others.
Judy is maintained our social status as loud Americans and made us all laugh.

Little Britain was our inspiration, Edinburgh, Alnwick and Dalkieth was our playground, great memories was our result.

We are off to Wok & Wine to dine this evening. It's been a grand time gentleman. Tim and I thank you for coming over to our new little home on this side of the Atlantic.

Ghost Stories in the Making

27 November
Thanksgiving in Scotland has passed. Shared a nice meal with some friends, both American and Scottish, in the palace. Of course we had to have some whiskey after dinner, to go with the selection of wine, fortified dinner wine and beers that we had been and were consuming. Good times. But don't let the amount of alcohol taint what is about to be told. Some of the folks weren't even drinking this evening.

There has been a lot more "unusual" activity in the house over the past week or so; since the students have departed to let the four of us live alone until the next group comes. I had the experience of going to my flat from the Dining hall to use the toilet. After leaving my flat, going through the Music room, back to the Dining Hall, I heard a conversation occurring, behind me, in the hall I just came from. I assumed it was Tim showing someone around or perhaps to retrieve a bottle of wine, but as I went back into the narrow hall, I see nothing, BUT, I hear the conversation occurring, behind me again; this time from the room which I just left. I walked BACK into the Music Room, and the conversation was still occurring, behind me--almost as if two men were have a heated discussion or perhaps an argument, however it was so muffled that I couldn't make out what was being said exactly. One final check of the sitting room in the flat, the narrow hall, the Music room and the George IV entrance demonstrated that there was NO ONE in the area. I ran back to the dining hall, and questioned the room and all the guests. Everyone in the house that night was present. Upon questioning them, everyone had been in there seats or in the room during the whole time I was hearing these voices....needless to say, I was a little unnerved for the rest of the evening.

Judy, one of the house guests, then proceeded to tell teh story of their evening the previous night. She said she heard someone in the women's toilet up in her area of the house, around midnight or half twelve. Considering that her and her husband were the only one's in that part of the house, and that the other three guests heard the story and stated they were not even close to that part of the house all night, leads to another strange occurrence.

But its not done yet. The following night, on Thanksgiving, there were 8 of us enjoying a turkey dinner in the Dining hall in front of a warm fire. Tim had ran down to the kitchen area, and upon approaching the "cage", where food is stored, saw the shadow of somebody walking around, as if they were IN the cage. When he approached the cage, there was nobody in it. There is no other door to the cage. The look on his face upon his return told everyone in the room that he had the scare of his life. He was a white as a ghost! That of course led to ghost stories that the guests had experienced during their lives, each person having a vivid memory of a little girl or an image in a bog or other sentiments and feelings that would make a ghost story writer green with envy. John and Mary then had shared that they were hearing voices in the house as of late as well. They both said that they distinctly heard somebody or something saying "hiya" to them while they were walking around the house. Throughout the course of the evening, the 8 of us, admittingly maybe a little on edge, continued to hear many noises--perhaps faint conversation or the sound of footsteps, for the rest of the night.

Note to Home

Good Wishes Everyone ~

It is time again, for a greeting and news from the daft American blokes in Scotland. Well it is approaching the Thanksgiving. As you can imagine, it is a holiday not recognized on this side of Atlantic. However, the wee Americans living in Dalkeith House are still going to cook a turkey. Tim and Mary and John are joining culinary forces to cook up a traditional spread for all of us and our guests this Thursday. What is Ryan going to do? He’s just going to look pretty, eat, drink and be merry that day ¬ hey, somebody has too!

Actually, I am going to the airport to pick up Randy, Cam and Stevie K at “half-eleven” in the morning. They are flying over here for a 10 day holiday; they are away on 5 December! We are very excited for the boys to visit. In addition to them, John and Mary have 3 friends from Wisconsin staying at the house, so we’ll have quite a large American contingent to help celebrate the day and be thankful for this great opportunity live abroad! It will be the first Thanksgiving for our Scottish friends joining us as well: Henry, the house chef, his wife Ann, and Richard and Cath, our catering company’s owner.

November in the UK does bring its own holiday, however. November 5 is Guy Fawke’s Day. On the 5th November 1605 Guy Fawkes was caught in the cellars of the Houses of Parliament with several dozen barrels of gunpowder. Guy Fawkes was tried as a traitor for plotting against the government. He was sentenced to death. The form of the execution was one of the most horrendous ever practised –hung, drawn and quartered—which reflected the serious nature of the crime of treason. And, as many people in Scotland like to call it (as you can imagine, the Scots probably didn’t mind seeing the parliament almost burn down!), “Bonfire Day” is a huge national holiday. Actually, to be true to history, the Scots and the English had just merged crowns in 1603 under James VI (James I to the English) so, it did threaten the whole of Britain’s stability. Basically, children build effigies of Guy and their parents burn them on bonfires and let off fire works. Comparable to the 4th of July I suppose, in recognizing one’s national pride and identity. A cute little rhyme that is recited on the day:
Remember, remember the fifth of November,Gunpowder, treason and plot,We see no reason,Why gunpowder treason,Should ever be forgot!

Okay, the history lesson is over.

Scotland approaching winter is brilliant. The sunrises are later and the sunsets are earlier than I have ever experienced, and we are still a month away from the winter solstice; a day where we enjoy just a wee 4 hours of daylight. What difference latitude and location makes. Even at noon on a day like today, the shadows cast off the buildings and trees are long and looming, like something out of an Ian Rankin novel.

The fall 2004 WIS term has come to an end. The students celebrated last Thursday at the local Rugby club on High Street (the equivalent of “Main Street” in the states as EVERY town has a High Street). The party was a hit and Ryan, of course, set up a game to be played, as he does. I am sure you won’t be surprised that I sang karaoke. One of the students begged me to sing with her, so we did Shania Twain’s “Man, I Fell Like a Woman”. I’m sure you can imagine that every g-damn camera in the place came out for a picture of that graceless little moment. Reason number 37 why Ryan shouldn’t have too many pints of Carling with the students!! It was sad to see them go. Equally sad was having to get up at 6 o’clock in the morning to get them on the bus to the airport! Gu.

During the interim of programs, I will be looking for part time employment. I did secure a teaching position with WIS for the spring term though. I will be serving as an adjunct professor and facilitating a cultural colloquium. So, I’ll get a taste of working with college students in the academic arena. I am looking forward to that; it may tell me what my future has in store for teaching. I will also probably try to become a supply (substitute) teacher in the local schools as well, for extra income. (I swear to god, that damn American dollar can’t FALL any further! It’s ridiculous.) Subbing in local Scottish schools would certainly be an invaluable lesson on culture, youth, educational history and much more.

FYI, Tim and I will be travelling home for a few days in December. It will be a busy trip, but we would of course like to see as many people as we can. We will fly into Minneapolis on Monday, 13 December. (Randy, can you pick us up and bring us to our car? Thanks.) Of course we’d love to visit some of the old haunts (maybe Randy can arrange a gathering of people on say, a Thursday night too?) We will swing around to family xmas parties and of course I want to visit RHS!
We fly back to Scotland on Thursday, 23 December and will be spending Christmas and Boxing Day in Northumberland (England) with some friends. Hope life is treating everyone well. I know we’ve already missed some significant birthday parties and births and some special occasions, but we are with you in spirit!

Hope to hear from you soon and we miss you all very much. Take care of yourselves.

Love
Ryan

PS: Just a note, on the web site that I have created is one that allows only so many hits at time (a bandwidth issue I believe) so I apologize if it is not working when you check. Just check it again an hour or two later. Cheers just now!

PSS: I wrote a little poem to commemorate the holiday season! I know, I know, don’t quit your day job. Wait, Ryan doesn’t have a day job right now!?!

Can you figure out what the poem is about? Answers given to those you send me a hello!


It had been a fortnight since we had such a day
Piping hot neeps, tatties and mince
Several cold pints of lager to rinses
A wee dram of Glenkinchey to break up the chill
It was a grand old celidh

Aghast! The bevies kicked in,
Several lost their jumpers to kin
And the eve was a hit
This would not last, and I would soon be morose

As a trip to the loo found a treacherous queue
I stepped outside into nearest close

Suddenly a bin lorry as big a ben
Came rushing down the cobblestone glen
“This close isn’t a superloo and you’ll have to wait in the queue
just like everyone else”
so I pulled up my trousers and headed back in to find an even longer queue!
I searched and dashed and raced around caught in quite a jam
Finally I settled on an empty pram
Consider my chagrin, I moved outside the inn
Never to show my face again.





HAPPY THANKSGIVING
I am thankful that I had and still have all of you in my life. Your friendship and benevolence has been a blessing.

The News Scares Me... I should just stop reading it.

In a matter of minutes surfing the news agents in my favorites, I come across some seriously disturbing stories. The article discussing Scalia's vision about the court system does a nice job describing his judicial restraint and philosophy, but I'd like the reporter to go one step further and identify the kinds of unequal and sick treatment that the court "bettered" before a racist or sexist or and -ist state legislated equality. Brown v. Board? Miranda v. Arizona? Tinker v. Des Moines? just to name a few. Legislatures in the South and many other places were NOT giving blacks equality in schools and probably still wouldn't be today if the Court didn't serve as an "activist". I honestly understand the "strict constructionist" idea, I mean I get it, but what I don't get is how do you justify it as a rational approach to a government that is always changing? When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. —. Abraham Maslow

Other acts of arrogance by aloof leaders comes from Prince Charles. In the article, it is revealed that he criticizes people who have "ideas above their station" and that schools are doing a disservice to students by convincing them that with a little effort, everybody can be "somebody". Hmmmm, I wonder what age Charles was when he realized that he WAS somebody and his teachers didn't have to lie to him and tell him that. Again, and he's a leader?

Religion Again

I know I harp on Religion a lot, and as I have said before, I'm not against religion (okay, maybe a little) but I am against the religious asking everyone else to live by "their" rules. And, the only reason for this post is because two pieces of religious humour crossed my desk and I had to share them.
One, a quote from the LONGEST running sitcom of all time:
"Marge, have you ever actually sat down and read this thing? Technically, we're not even allowed to go to the bathroom."
- Priest on "The Simpson's"

Got a love it. Second, this little "letter" never gets old.

Dear President Bush,Congratulations on your election victory and for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how best to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev.11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

In case you are curious, there is a nice little site that you may want to check out to see that No religion can be just as good if not better than TOO MUCH religion. I am not endorsing anything, of course.

The Rush To Canada

Okay, I got a kick out of the big hubub many people made after the election. But a recent article has made it sound quite appealing!
Just the top ten list they provided alone is convincing:

WHY MOVE TO CANADA?
Reasons to move to Canada, as cited by www.canadianalternative.com:
1. Canada has universal public health care.
2. Canada has no troops in Iraq.
3. Canada signed the Kyoto Protocol environmental treaty.
4. More than half of Canada's provinces allow same-sex marriage.
5. The Canadian Senate recommends legalizing marijuana.
6. Canada has no law restricting abortion.
7. Canada has strict gun laws and relatively little violence.
8. The United Nations has ranked Canada the best country to live in for eight consecutive years.
9. Canada abolished the death penalty in 1976.
10. Canada has not run a federal deficit since 1996-97.
Source: The Associated Press

However, I am more on the side of Communicopia employee who said tha moving to Canada should be plan B. We need to stay and fight for everyone's sake. Martin Luther King and Susan B. Anthony and did not move to Canada, so neither should the rest of us.

Lincoln was gay?

A new book suggests our "greatest president", Abraham Lincoln, our 16 President was gay. I don't think it matters either way if he were queer or not in how he acted as President, of course. There are a lot of closeted men married to women who are quite successful at their jobs. Lincoln was prone to depression, which is typical of gay men who are not allowed to live out their true feelings. Realistically, as the critics point out, because of the reliance on circumstantial evidence, we may never really know. I did have to search around a bit and draw some of my own conclusions. I found a letter that Lincoln wrote to an acquaintence about a daydream he had about love. One could argue that he wasn't successful in leaving the camp with the woman was because subconsciously, he wanted to be with a man!

Hey, a boy can dream, can't he? The letter is in full below. You decide.

LOVE'S AWAKENING
I always meant to write that story out and publish it, and I began once; but I concluded it was not much of a story- But I think that was the beginning of love with me. Did you ever write out a story in your mind? I did when I was a little codger. One day a wagon with a lady and two girls and a man broke down near us, and while they were fixing up, they cooked in our kitchen. The woman had books and read us stories, and they were the first I ever had heard. I took a great fancy to one of the girls; and when they were gone I thought of her a great deal, and one day when I was sitting out in the sun by the house I wrote out a story in my mind. I thought I took my father's horse and followed the wagon, and finally I found it, and they were surprised to see me. I talked with the girl and persuaded her to elope with me; and that night I put her on my horse, and we started off across the prairie. After several hours we came to a camp, and when we rode up we found it was the one we had left a few hours before, and we went in. The next night we tried it again, and the same thing happened-the horse came back to the same place; and then we concluded that we ought not to elope. I stayed until I had persuaded her father to give her to me. I always meant to write that story out and publish it, and I began once; but I concluded it was not much of a story- But I think that was the beginning of love with me.
Abraham Lincoln

Looking forward from the mess of Nov. 3--It doesn't look good.

Some post election analysis from the BBC, check it out. It's poignant and unfortunately true. Hammer the same SIMPLE message in again and again, and win. And I have to agree with him on the "The most important reason to re-elect me is so that Laura can be your First Lady for four more years." WTF? Because SHE has done so much in the past four years. I don't blame Theresa H-K for not knowing what Laura did for a living; we never saw her! And SHE's the reason we should've voted for Bush? Well, that seems to make sense in a Bush Logic. Vote for something your not going to get.

Looking to the future, lets hope Blair can hold this own this time at his next meeting with W.

"Mr Bush on Wednesday said he wanted to see Israel and a Palestinian state existing peacefully together and he wanted to play a part in ensuring there was a chance that could happen." Okay, we'll see. Arafat has passed away, and there will be a shuffle for power. How much do you want bet that Israel drags its feet makes new claims that the Palestinian leadership cannot be negotiated with (like they did with Arafat) and Bush will not have the skills to bring them together. For crying out loud America! You elected an idiot! Yes, war time president's always win, don't rock the boat, blah blah blah, but, there's some serious shit he has to work on and he doesn't possess the cognitive faculties (or patience, I'm willing to bet) to do such work!

"And the prime minister is being urged to persuade the US to back the Kyoto agreement on tackling global warming." Uh, Good luck with that Tony Blair. Let's see, we don't sign the treaty because it will damage our economy and because the developing country's don't have to commit to energy reductions... HMMM, #1, HELL, without the friggen environment you can kiss that damn economy good bye? K, a bit dramatic, but that's like saying: No, I'm not going to use sunscreen today, its just not in my budget. Okay, are you ready to spend at the beach? #2, the developing countries AREN'T the ones producing the damn emissions for chrissake! The U.S. produces ONE-THIRD of the world's greenhouse gasses and should own its mess. Again I say, Good Luck with that one Tony Blair.

It's a Good Thing That War is Over

It's a good thing that war is over. I mean, how many people have to die for dog's sake! (I stole that from someone, but I LOVE it.)

When will the powerful elite of Washington recognize that instituting a secular "democracy" in Iraq is not going to work? They are country that has wanted and seeks the guidance of a spirtual leader. Granted, Hussein preferred a more secular role in his Sunni faith and overall leadership, but the majority of the damn country is Shi'ite anyway, and they most certainly want a religious leader (ayatollah-like that of Iran)

It would be like someone invading the U.S. and saying, "Hey everyone, you don't want this crazy fanatical freak running your country. You'll thank me when I install this Other Guy who will install a secular democracy." Interesting how easily that works both ways these days, isn't it?

Anonymity :The "Divide" will only get bigger

I wonder how many people, on the various message boards or blogs and such are, when they say things like "quit whining you commie dyke" or "shut the f*ck up you facist pig" are actually, saying it to a parent, a sibling, a grandchild, unknowingly.

Leading up to the election, I thought I read and witnessed a lot of hostility, but, then Nov. 2 occurred, and it got 10 times worse. The chances of compromise and concilliation occurring are slim to none until people of all walks of life and political persuasions sit down face to face and discuss things with civility. Slurs, insults and swear words are just anger being tossed about and building on the ignorance wall that is being slowly built up between our nations citizens. And just in case I forgot to say it today, I love you dad, I love you grandma, and I love all of my dear siblings.

God, guns and gays

Markos Moulitsas , of dailykos.com, put it so well when he said that the Democratic candidates were "outclassed and outgunned by a GOP which ran on three simple tenets: God, guns and gays." I'm allowing myself one day of despair, okay, maybe two. But, this a battle, not the war. We lost, they won. 2006 and 2008 are the future libs need to look towards. By that time, Bush will probably have anihilated another middle eastern country and banned abortion and more than likely figure out a way to make Straight and Gay Only lunch counters. It's ironic that he could be the reason a Clinton/Obama ticket actually wins in 2008--the revolution has begun. It's Animal Farm all over again. Soon the "pigs" will become the enemy and the people will revolt. It's just a shame that we have to keep re-learning the lessons of discrimination, liberty and democracy every 30 or 40 years.

Read the novel, we'll win eventually.

Voting-Age Population

The numbers will speak volumes this year. Post election analysis will be crazy. And, since I have the luxury of being awake and at a computer 6 hours before the US is even awake, I'll register some predictions.
I am interested to see the turn out rate and what 'sliver' of the population makes the difference. From the census bureau, we know this:

217.8 million Number of voting-age U.S. residents.

• 153.9 million were single-race non-Hispanic white
• 26.4 million were black
• 26.3 million Hispanic
• 10.0 million Asian
• 3.0 million American Indian or Alaska native
• 647,000 native Hawaiian or other Pacific islander.

Presidential Election: 2000
111 million: the number of people who voted in the 2000 presidential election, short of the record high of 114 million set in 1992.
State Turnout Trends (At or about 70%)
The 2000 presidential election voting rates in the District of Columbia, North Dakota, Wisconsin, Maine and Minnesota, highest in the nation.
National Turnout Trends
60% Percentage of eligible voters who cast their ballots in the November 2000 presidential election, slightly higher than the 58 percent who voted in 1996.

My prediction (because I can--where does the innate desire to predict come from? Do we secretly wish we were fortune tellers or astrologists?):
The old and the young will make this election interesting. The young and cell-phone using only population that hasn't been polled and the older folks who probably have their phones blocked by the national no-call lists will turn out in large volumes to vote for what the young will see as their right to finally 'speak out' and the pensioners might see as a vote of 'wisdom' for a divided country. I feel like it won't be that close, that it will be a large enough gap to allow the next president to lead with some (maybe not a lot) comfort; certainly no overwhelming mandate, but I can't see the courts.

The numbers: 134 million people will vote, give or take 500,000. That should put us near the numbers hit in the 1960's, the highest this century. This is in sync with my belief that the 60's are going to happen again.
The states: MN will have record numbers (from 68.8% in 2000), again, as will Wisconsin (from 66.1% in 2000), but my random thought prediction thinks we'll see a crazy high percentages from states like Misouri, New Mexico and Pennsylvania. (these states turned out 57.7%, 47.4, 53.7 in 2000).

The black vote will obviously favor Kerry, but not like it did for Gore and Clinton. The veteran's will be the ones to watch this year.

More later.

Trick or Treat (read: Bush or Kerry)

On this beautiful Scottish Halloween day, I have read the blogs and papers and scan over commentary on the hostages, Bin Laden tape and all ther rest, it is apparent that President Bush needs these crises and/or emergencies to survive and appear to be a coherent leader. The media and subsequently the American public feed into this by covering the latest reaction to an event. What about schools? What about healthcare? What about jobs? There are MILLIONS of events in this country he could be reacting too. But he chooses the big bad wolf model because it scares enough people into voting Republican. If he didn't have some "evil doer" to react to, he wouldn't have these GRAND opportunities appear decisive. A peace time president he is not, as he would have surely failed in most if not all accounts. Peace ISN'T what he wants, and therefore he shouldn't be what the American people want on November 2.

The Power of Nightmares

Perhaps I was meant to move to Scotland. To live in and be exposed to a new culture with different norms, values and beliefs. I am thrilled about all that I am reading and watching and learning about. I am also discovering a that I am able to discern my political views and philosophy in new and constructive ways now that I am out of the confines of American media. I am astounded at how frequently I am confronted with the realization that I feel like I have been leading to and spouting off about for a long long time. Religion will make people do crazy things. Isn't it odd, that, in our identities in this world, when we are born we CANNOT CHOOSE: race, gender, sexual orientation, class (although you can move from this), physical appearance, etc. BUT, although we can be born into a religion, it is, in my opinion, the single greatest factor to cause grief and havoc on this world. We (generally speaking) actively choose to pursue a faith (catholics, protestants, born-again, muslim, jews, etc), and, a great deal a people will pursue that faith to such fanatical heights that they use religion to justify the Killing or removal of others. It would seem, if one from space lets say, took a cursory glance at our world, that people allover the world are trying to kill everyone else so they can be the last ones here. What sparked this latest rant? The Power of Nightmares on BBC2. Now that is a documentary that should be shown in the states, but I doubt it will.

What was our motto again, hate or be kind?

The Education Department is poised to give more access to the Boy Scout of America, a "patriotic youth group". That's right, give more access to a discriminatory group. Promote values of hate and exclusion to impressionable young people. As long as they salute that flag, let them hate and exclude anyone they want. I can see the signs now: BSA group meets at 12:00pm, over lunch. All are welcome. Except the queers. I used to be a Boy Scout (imagine if they knew I was queer?!!? I probably would have used by one of them to earn the Hate Gays badge!) and now I'm a government teacher. The irony of allowing a group that discriminates into an institution based on equality (by need, ability, religion, etc) is hysterical!

Only in America do we continue the viscious cycle of denying then granting rights to blacks, women, American Indians, 18 year olds, Irish-Americans, Jews, Japanese-Americans, Quakers, Italian-Americans, Muslims, and loads of other groups over and over again through out history, and NOT learn from our mistakes.

What Really Matters

I was recently informed that a story I had written as part of an anthology was one of several cut, because the publisher wanted a shorter book, from an upcoming publication on gay teachers. I was disappointed, but hey, what can you do. Perhaps I'll try to publish it somewhere else!?!
But for now, I think it will serve as a good blog article today.


What Really Matters

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."
-- Robert Frost


I reminisce about a particular day during the fall of 2000 frequently. It was typical afternoon for a third year teacher: slightly unorganized and a little unfocused, but, not completely unproductive. Fifth hour had begun, and, like so many other days, the class was trying to persuade me away from the content at hand, ninth grade government. It still being early in the school year, the students and I were still trying to determine just what we could say to one another and still get away with and what went too far On this particular day, the borders of this vaguely defined arena were blown away with one simple exchange.
“Mr. Johnson, are you married?” Aaron asked with such ease, as if it had been the topic of our conversation for hours. “No”, I responded. “Do you have a girlfriend?” he continued. “No”, I responded, feeling slightly nervous now. “You don’t have a girlfriend,” less a question then a statement this time. “No”, I responded, a third time, wishing that he would stop this line of questioning. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” he questioned further. “I just don’t, Aaron!” I answered, a little louder, a little annoyed now. “Come on, why doesn’t someone like you have a girlfriend. You’re a fun and good looking guy.” “Aaron, I don’t date girls.” He sort of cocked his head to the left, confused, much like a puppy trying to figure out what his master is trying to teach him. Then I continued to talk, stuck between clarifying and overstating the point, “Aaron, I’m gay.” Just like that, I was out. And suddenly I was freaked out. I was a third year teacher. I was a teacher without tenure. I was, a teacher, who, up until this moment, had never once had the complete attention of every single student in the classroom, at one time. I was amazed. But I guess it was time.

I came out during my senior year of college, with the help of a great school psychologist, to my friends and family. I started with the easy ones, the girls that probably already knew and then moved on to the ones who refused to believe because I was too cute or fun to lead what they dubbed a “lonely and hard” life. I ended with my closest male friend, who, I thought would disown me on the spot. All of them took the news remarkably well. I finally shared it with the last person in the world I wanted to tell, but once I did, I knew I would be free from the closet, the fear and the despair, forever: my father. He did not take it very well at first. Normally not a man of many words, he left me to stumble over his extreme silence for several months until my stepmother intervened and made us sit down to talk about the matter. A few angry words from him and a few angry words from me, and it was done, I was gay and he was still my dad. It was a liberating summer; the summer before I student taught.
It was the start of many bold exchanges for me.
I student taught in an urban school on the west side of St. Paul. My master teacher was a 26 year veteran and a great source of knowledge. I got the impression though, that he did things the way they’ve always been done, very traditional. It came as a bit of a shock to him that, upon the students’ continued use of the term “gay” to mean something or someone was stupid, I stopped the class and came out to them. I asked the two students, one an African American male and the other a female of Latino descent, if they would appreciate my use of racial slurs to describe something or someone as dumb. They screamed ”No”! Then I said, “Well, this gay man doesn’t appreciate it either.” And that was it. I received no questions, no second thoughts or strange looks. I was out and I still had about 6 weeks of student teaching left. After class was over, I told my master teacher. He was not very happy with my choice, mostly out of respect of my safety, as I was not yet a full time teacher with rights or a contract. A large part of my ease of coming out I think was my naiveté of schools and politics, but, what was done was done. I informed the principal, and shared my story and she could not have been more supportive. I felt like the whole world was on my side. My confidence grew. I finished out the term and proceeded to look for a job the next spring. If I could truly be myself and teach, I would be happy.
During my search, I fell into a great transition job that involved both young people and government. I began working with an organization called Project 120 in January of 1999. Each week of the three month legislative session, I worked with of 20-30 different high school students from across the state. They came to St. Paul, the capital, for five days and four nights to learn about state government. I was an evening instructor and it was my charge to help run in-services on how bills became laws, help facilitate diversity workshops and supervise the social or “fun” evening activities like laser tag and ping pong.
It was during these 12 weeks that I was able to meet maybe different students from all walks of life and both educate them on my content knowledge and interact with them in an informal setting. I would frequently field the typical stream of adolescent questions, usually, but not always, in the same order:
Are you married? (no)
Do you have a girlfriend? (no)
Are you gay? (yes)
Do you have a boyfriend? (yes)
Some of the more intuitive kids went straight to questions 3 or 4! Nevertheless, I was able to be a teacher, and adult and a gay person to these students. I believe my openness and honesty was made easier because the situation we were all in. We are essentially thrown into a group of strangers and, by simple proximity and circumstance, were obligated to adapt to different lifestyles, races and ideas then we were typically used to seeing. It was a great experience for me and the 500 or 600 students that I worked with over the 3 years I was with Project 120.
It was during the very first year of Project 120, around week seven or so, that I came to know two students from the a central Minnesota school district who I would never forget: Tom was wheelchair-bound due to the many heart surgeries that he had endured, and Chris was kind enough to assist Tom by pushing him around. Tom, with all his medical issues, ended up having more life and vigor in his little finger than I or any of the students had combined. Tom was inspirational and a wonderment to all of us. We laughed, we talked and we shared so much about our lives in just a few short days. He said to me, and I’ll never forget it, “You’re an awesome person and an awesome teacher. I want you to apply in my school district. We are building two new schools, and I think you would do a great job.” This 15 year old kid was so mature and wise beyond his yearsthat he was counseling me on how and where to get a job! I did just what he told me to do. I applied at school in the southern part of the growing district in April. I interviewed in mid-May on a Tuesday and was hired the next day. Boom, just like that, I had a job. I had Tom to thank.
I soon discovered that the district was fairly conservative, and despite my ease of coming out to friends, family, students in my first two teaching experiences, I was instantly very quiet about my personal life. I was a non-tenured teacher who needed this job, so I couldn’t screw it up by coming out. All the courage I had prior to this was instantly balled up inside of me again. I avoided personal questions and usually just led people to believe that I was single. I hated being the “single guy” who could stay late and come in early all the time to prepare. I hated it, because I wasn’t.single: I was in a relationship with a man, but it just so happens that I was excited to do a good job and was willing to put in the extra hours. But most of all I hated lying, because I was lying to spare them the trouble of working with a gay person and not for my benefit. I was not happy in my present situation, and it was apparent in my classroom. My classroom management was authoritative, and my lessons were cookie-cutter-straight-from-the-book. No creativity, no passion. That’s because I wasn’t teaching. Some liar, pretending he wasn’t a queer, was teaching, and he wasn’t very good.
This would go on for two years, despite my longing to come out. I had even discussed this with colleagues about how and when I should do it, but was always told to play it safe. I hated safe. I would rather not work than not be me. I had had it so good for so long with being me and everyone accepting it. I just couldn’t imagine that my students wouldn’t accept me for who I was.
It was during my second year of teaching that I came across a book titled One teacher in 10. I scanned the queer sections of book stores a lot, searching for stories of solace and empowerment. When I found this book, one for gay and lesbian teachers, I snatched it up and raced home. It was these stories that restored my faith in myself as a teacher and help rebuild my courage in my gay self. Eventually it did help me achieve what I was seeking.
Everyone was staring at me. I couldn’t believe that I just came out, so quickly. Normally I had just deflected such inquiries with passive brush offs or my own question of “What does that have to do with Government?” And now I felt flush and a little sick. Then the hands started to rise. Instantly, I said, with the ease of a 20 year veteran, “you can have 10 questions, and then we move on, deal?” They agreed. I can’t say that I remember all of the questions, but I do remember counting because I wanted to get off the topic as quickly as possible. The usual laundry list of questions came up: When did you know? Do your parents know? What do they think? Do you have a boyfriend? What is it like, to be gay? After the intense but brief examination of Mr. Johnson’s personal life, I continued the lesson, a little shaky, but, also with a secret sense of victory. My nervousness gave way to composure. My level of empathy increased dramatically, and I think my students appreciated my vulnerability and sympathized with me. On many levels, I sensed their low-self-esteem-adolescent-persons were proud that I shared such a sacred and private part of my life with them. I shared the experience with my colleagues and principal at the day’s end and they were happy for me. Most were a little nervous for me, but nevertheless, I had their support.
Mr. Johnson was out.
I have been at the same school for my entire career thus far. I have just begun my sixth year of teaching at a brand the new high school, which was built across the street from my old building. I have had nothing but support from my coworkers, students, administration and several school board members. I am amazed at how accepting my district and my school have been. I am certain that not everyone in the district agrees with my orientation or is supportive but, if so, I’ve been lucky that they have chosen not to express themselves publicly.
I recently had a oneday retreat with our school’s staff. During our introductions, I did not hesitate for a moment to express who was, and did so with a funny story about staring with a new staff five years prior. I stood up and shared that Gail, an English teacher I taught next to had, on many occasions, tried to set me up with her nieces and friends and other women by bringing in pictures to show me. This had gone on for about 5 or 6 weeks, and, it was early in the school year. I knew that I would not be able to endure these awkward conversations for the remainder of the school year! I was sort of dumbfounded as to how to handle this situation, not knowing how this woman, who was at least 25 years my senior, would respond. I sought out another teacher, who, by my estimation was as liberal as they come, and peeked into her classroom and said, “Sue, can I talk to you?” “Sure, Ryan, come on in!” she exclaimed. “Well, I have a situation and I need your advice, but first, I have to tell you something.” I said, sheepishly. “Well, what is it?” she inquired. “Um, I’m gay.” Suddenly a big grin shot across her face and she laughed out loud and said, “Honey, I knew you were gay five minutes before I met you!” I busted out laughing and with a newfound ease, shared my dilemma with Sue. She promptly marched me into Gail’s room and flatly told her, “Gail, Ryan’s gay, quit trying to set him up with girls!” I had no idea how close those two women were, and how liberal and tolerant they BOTH were. We laughed about that for a long time, and I’ve never forgot the story. However, a part of me realized that Sue and Gail might have, because as I was telling the story to my new staff, one which Gail and Sue are part of, they started to cry and then laugh. I think they suddenly realized the impact they have had on my life
Upon reflection of my fortunes about being gay in this profession, I remember a conversation I had with the principal that the junior high school. I have worked with Claudia for two years and we have become good friends. She offered some insight on the topic of being a gay teacher in this district. “Ryan”, she said, “I am continuously amazed at how accepted you are by students, parents and employees of this school and district. I think it is a testament to what a fantastic teacher and a great person you are. It doesn’t matter that you are gay, it’s just a part of who you are.”
And that’s what matters.

NCLB or ECLB?

"Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education. The human mind is our fundamental resource." John F. Kennedy

Education is a topic that most people can agree is an important one. However, it time and time again clouded up with politicians promising more money and standards and values to be put into the system, without really knowing what they are talking about. The further one is away from the actual classroom, the more power one can assert over it, it seems. I would hope that NCLB, "No Child Left Behind" aka, "no teacher left standing" , "no child left un-tested" or as I like to say, "Every Child Left Behind" (ECLB) has a serious revamping under a new Congress and/or President. The federal governments role needs to be more clearly defined to allow the funding to come (as it should, from Federal Taxes, Article I of the Constitution) but allow each state to develop there own measures of accountability. More and more states are fighting NCLB, in fact, more pro-Bush states are challenging the law that states that voted for Gore. And I realize that Dems and Republicans alike drafted the damn thing, but Bush is chanting is praises like he fixed American schools, and over 40 Democrats have since withdrawn their support when the funding didn't follow. If you think about it, it would be like saying, "Hey, Mr. President, you are charged with the responsibility of protecting this country and fighting terrorism. It will cost $10 billion to it. We'll give you $5 billion. Go to it." Likelihood of success? Nil. Many states were putting out high test scores and re-working assessments to align with curriculum before NCLB came along, and now they are forced, in many cases, to scrap their plans and force Square-peg into Circle-hole. Just not gonna happen! And, an entire nation's schools will suffer because of it. Mr. Bush's Education Secretary, Rod Paige, doesn't seem to get it either. But then, he has been out of a classroom for a long time.

John Kerry for Nader?

Like most Americans and the world, I have read a lot of talk about people wanting Nader to drop out of the race and/or do a last minute endorsement of Kerry. But what if John Kerry, on Nov. 1, says to the American people, I have decided to pull out of the election, we would be better served by a Nader Presidency, and boom, the 47% (that Kerry is getting in some polls) plus 2+% (Nader voters) gets him to the winning percentage and boom, President Nader. Then the real Democratic Party would be in office. I think that is a better strategy for getting in the Democratic views than a Kerry presidency. I recently took a political survey that demonstrated just how VERY far I am from Bush but how, still quite far I am from Kerry, and, I would consider myself a pretty well read and educated (2 degrees) adult that is, fundamentally, a Democrat, but I see more of those values in Nader's platform than in Kerrys. I already voted by absentee ballot, and yes, it was for Kerry, but I hope I don't regret it when he looks like a Republican on issues of civil rights (considering he helped draft parts of the Patriot Act) and war (considering his position_s_ on the war) and I don't need to beat a dead horse. Just a thought.

On a second stream of consciousness, the John Stewart on Crossfire episode came to my attention from friend, as sadly, I have no access to American televison these days, and his thumping of Begala and Carlson was marvelous. The best point he made, which is sad, is that those who have no chance of winning can speak the most freely. There is no way in hell I'll ever be President.

The Guardian

On my travels south to England, I was able to spend a good deal of time just reading the newspaper, which is so delightful compared to reading blogs and emails and online news all day! The old fashion media venue will always be a favourite Sunday morning breakfast and newspaper routine. Well, living in Scotland these days opens my eyes to many different papers, and I must say that the Guardian is a fantastic read. Ultimately you know, as most intelligent people do, that every news outlet is going to have a bias, so, don't be surprised to find the Guardian a bit liberal. It is refreshing when you consider how many "fair and balanced" reports I read and watched in the Rupert Murdoch owned US, oops, I mean media outlets. A fantastic read, a poll that 10 newspapers (including the Guardian of course) conducted about the up coming election. It reflects a lot of the setitment that I have been expressing about how the out come of this election will have HUGE repercussions on the world, and they are overwhelming in support of a Kerry victory. Let's hope the world's dreams come true on Nov. 2.

I guess I have some things to say, but will people hear?

I promise (for my own sake and to those few who actually read this), I won't spend every waking moment on politics and how much Bush needs to go, but it is terribly important people open their eyes. Not just to Bush, but to fundamental religious fanatics. They need to go (hmmm, was there a another set of fundamentalist religious fanatics that caused us some problems in September 2001??) maybe all fundamentalists fanatics are bad?

Why of course we have the right to practice any type of religion or none at all, we also have the freedom NOT to be dominated by them in our government. Leaders can be religious, they just cannot preach or lead with ONLY their religious beliefs.

I have been reading some different articles and speeches (and I do try to read from several sources to avoid too much bias) and have a few things to say on a couple issues that are important to me, and, will be several of many reasons why I will not be voting Republican.

Take education. I am a teacher, and granted, I do not know all there is to know about education issues, but working in classroom and teaching about politics has taught me a thing or two.

Bush, and both Republicans and Democrats passed No Child Left Behind (well, with a goddamn title like that, who is going to vote AGAINST it???). It promises to raise standards and test students.
HOWEVER: Money to schools is drastically short of what is needed, even IF one agrees with excessive testing that is often not connected with the content and is not measuring the whole child's growth and development, usually are not culturally sensitive or sensitive to students with special needs. NCLB increased school funding, but shy by $5.4B. (Jan 2004) Bush said: Teaching to the Test is good, if testing basics. (Feb 2001) I don't even know where to begin here. Hmmm, if the test is 2 + 2 = _? and all we teach them is, "hey kids, 4. Now there's a good number. It takes 2+2 or 1+1+1+1 to get 4. Just remember 4 kids... " I realize that might be a bit dramatic, but hey, its math and its the basics. Get a friggen clue.
Bush has also said that he has a commitment to local control. (Jan 2001) Now how in the hell can states or local districts have local control when the President institutes a federal law that calls for the most massive intrusion into state/local curriculum and pedagogy in history? I don't get it... somebody teach me.
Poor kids can’t read; now is the time to teach them. (Aug 2000)
I can't even begin to touch this one...
Teach values and moral responsibility in schools. (Apr 1998)
I wonder what values these are? Gays are bad, women should stay home and raise babies, abstinence is the ONLY way, a little violation of our privacy is okay, we need to flush out the terrorists!
I agree that respect and responsibility are important for young people to have, but that word "moral" is too often clouded by some extreme religious fanatic... morals and religion are different. Ten Commandments OK in schools for “inherent values”. (Jan 2000)
Again, these values belong to whom? Christians… Never mind the muslims, jews, atheists, Buddhists or ANY OTHER religion that doesn’t hold the 10 Commandments as “inherent values”. I don’t need a fricken piece of paper telling me not to kill… ugh.
Bush calls for constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. (Feb 2004)
Because the sanctity of marriage is being honoured so much by “Who wants to marry my dad” reality shows and world’s highest divorce rates…hmmm, lets STOP two people from entering into a committed loving relationship and hope they live promiscuous sexual lives and maybe increase the number of one person households (also the highest in the US)

Protect marriage against activist judges. (Sep 2004)
Well, lets see here, the judges are activists if they value the word EQUALITY in the Constitution, but they are not activists when they intervene in an election by the people, they are activist when they honor a women’s life and privacy, but not activists when they take away the civil rights a person accused of crime? The only time a judge is “legislating” from the bench is when the decisions don’t sit well with one’s own views. They all use the same damn document—left up to interpretation. It’s like that thing, what’s it called? The Bible? How come those Protestants and Catholics couldn’t agree on that? Hmm, what happened in the 1500’s, a bit of a schism? 2 groups who both think they are right. There’s a problem there… and just go back further, Abraham… hmm, Jews, Christians and Muslims all derived from the same story, and yet each one thinks they are right!


Education, housing, and hiring must be equal for all. (May 2004)
Here here, lets see it! There’s that equal word, hmmm, I wonder when it will be applied universally?

• Tolerance & equal rights, not gay marriage & special rights. (Oct 2000)
• No gay adoptions; but listens to gay GOP group. (Apr 2000)
• Against gay marriage, but leave it to the states. (Feb 2000)
• No gays in Boy Scouts. (Aug 1999)
• Hate-crime rules don’t apply to gays. (Jul 1999)

Are you seeing a common theme here? I think these types of policies and rhetoric FAILED, the first time, when it was called the Civil Rights Movement.
Remember some of these:

Intermarriage The marriage of a person of Caucasian blood with a Negro, Mongolian, Malay, or Hindu shall be null and void. Arizona
Intermarriage All marriages between a white person and a negro, or between a white person and a person of negro descent to the fourth generation inclusive, are hereby forever prohibited. Florida
Cohabitation Any negro man and white woman, or any white man and negro woman, who are not married to each other, who shall habitually live in and occupy in the nighttime the same room shall each be punished by imprisonment not exceeding twelve (12) months, or by fine not exceeding five hundred ($500.00) dollars. Florida
Education The schools for white children and the schools for negro children shall be conducted separately. Florida
Juvenile Delinquents There shall be separate buildings, not nearer than one fourth mile to each other, one for white boys and one for negro boys. White boys and negro boys shall not, in any manner, be associated together or worked together. Florida
Mental Hospitals The Board of Control shall see that proper and distinct apartments are arranged for said patients, so that in no case shall Negroes and white persons be together. Georgia
Intermarriage It shall be unlawful for a white person to marry anyone except a white person. Any marriage in violation of this section shall be void. Georgia
Barbers No colored barber shall serve as a barber [to] white women or girls. Georgia
Burial The officer in charge shall not bury, or allow to be buried, any colored persons upon ground set apart or used for the burial of white persons. Georgia
Restaurants All persons licensed to conduct a restaurant, shall serve either white people exclusively or colored people exclusively and shall not sell to the two races within the same room or serve the two races anywhere under the same license. Georgia

I will be curious to see how this people's "values and morals" will be viewed in history books.

A Good Day To Read the Paper

I am frequently wondering what the the average US citizen is reading for their news. Do they realize how political Bush (and all politicians, I'm sure Clinton, Bush Sr. and Reagan did it too) will make of the events around the world? Take the elections in Afghanistan for example. Of course Karzai is going to win!!! With the heavy handed American troops there, American body guards and American money, hmmm, is won't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. We here reports and are solicited daily for money because we know how important it is to win elections... and if Karzai wins, Bush can go, "Hurrah, Look what I've done! They are a true democracy!" Nevermind that most of the women in the Pashtun south won't even make it out the door. Sure, that's democracy.

Okay bitter bonnie, move on. On to lighter subjects... I'm hoping to get to London this week, and, on the way, see York, which is one of the most fascinating cities in England, or so I have heard. Apparently the museums, architecture and history is just a collage of Vikings/Romans/Medieval/British influences. I'll try to get a few pics pasted on this site and the web page.

More lighter side of material: the Letterman Top Ten sums up pretty well my opinion on how the debates were not really debates. Check them out.

One of my new heros: Wangari Maathai It's a shame that it took until 2004 for her to be a first in this category.

Democracy for Granted

Watching a bit of news this morning, with the Queen opening the official and new parliament at Hollyrood, a commentator quipped about people taking democracy for granted. It really struck a chord with me, and I thought about it for a bit, and, I think many people do. The rhetoric that surrounds debates, policies, polls and the like is in surplus, and it is just that, rhetoric. I just wonder what a luxury it would be in The Republic of Congo or Sudan or in Guatalmala or in Palestine if all they had to worry about is how bad is Kerry or Bush going to spin the other guys rhetoric. Of course, inversely, the reason we do wonder so much about the debates and the presidential election is because of what the leader of the most power nation in the world will do to help or guide these nations where political and economic instability are resulting in the deaths of millions. Americans take democracy for granted in a pragmatic way. They are willing to take polls and ultimately vote for very narrow minded and practical means: one's own self--security (financial and personal), religious/moral values, etc. It is quite selfish, and, in my opinion, the antithesis of how democracy should be instituted. Democracy means people choose. It is just such a shame that most people are so uneducated they cannot begin to comprehend the ills of what a poor choice (say, in a presidential vote) could mean to United States and to the world. Yes, Americans take democracy for granted. We desperately want that ever important right to vote ~ We just do it so recklessly that we may as well not have the right to.

A Work in Progress

It is probably not surprising that my first post is #1, a question and #2, political. I have to say that living in Scotland and outside of the US has granted me quite a different perspective on politics and life. The massive levels of apathy abound in many places, and I fear that the answer to my question is hate. I may be speaking directly to my own feelings when I say that, because I have never wanted to donate money, time and energy more to defeating a candidate, namely George Bush. It is with tremulous nerves that await the outcome of November 2.

What motivates?

In light of the incessant barrage of media, politicians and blogs and considering the complexity of of America's demographics, what would motivate someone to vote? Whether one has never voted or stopped voting because they are "tired of politicians lying" to them, what event/person/action/sentiment would make someone vote today?